Driving Mr. Rory (Halloween Special)

  This Halloween started off pretty crazy:  I had to get up and go to work feeling sick.  I was woozy, and my head hurt and then on top of it all, Kim had to go to Wal-Mart before school.  Enough said.  Kim wanted to get some snacks for her kids and I got some donut holes for my kids too, so it wasn't all that horrible.  Plus, I decided to go to the cooler and get a vanilla coke, which I knew would make me feel better as well.

  As I turned down the road to the cooler, (an outdoor drive-thru convenience store that I've never seen anywhere but our town.)   a state trooper appeared out of nowhere and started flashing his lights.  This of course was my luck!  But I was positive that I hadn't done anything wrong. 

  "Oh my gosh!" I say, "I didn't do anything."
  "Well, just pull over," Kim says. 
  I start to pull over but I realize that the road I'm on isn't very wide and so I decide to pull into a parking lot. 
  "What are you doing?" Kim asks.  "You don't need to pull into a parking lot!"
  "But that road is narrow," I say.
  "This cop probably thinks you are insane."
  "I feel like crap!" I whine.  "I just wanted a vanilla coke!"
  The trooper walks up to my window with a scowl on his face, and then recognition sinks in and it's my friend Trooper.

 (You remember the guy who brought a standalone air conditioning unit to us on the night before Rory was born, when our AC went out.  This is also the guy who likes to pull pranks on me any spare chance he gets.) 

  "You got us," I laugh.  "I knew I didn't do anything wrong."
  "Umm, I know I'm a prankster, but I actually pulled you over because you didn't have your lights on.  You have to keep them on from dusk until dawn." 
   "Oh," I say looking out the windshield.  It's not quite dark, but the sun isn't all the way up yet either.  "I didn't even realize my lights weren't on."
  "Please be careful guys," Trooper says, "And make sure you keep your lights on.  Oh and next time,, just pull over on the road.  All of that swerving into the parking lot made me think something was really wrong."
  "I'm sorry," I say.

  After Trooper leaves Kim thinks she needs to rub salt in the wound.
  "I told you, you were a horrible driver, but you never admit it."
  "Well, I have never gotten into an accident since I have lived in Florida, and you have so..."
  Kim starts to turn redder...
  "But maybe you're right," I say.  "I mean, the Wisconsin DMV basically only gave me a driver's license because the day I took my driver's test there was a blizzard and I didn't have to do anything but drive slowly through the snow drifts."

  After arriving at school we had a lot of fun in First Grade.  I called on kids by whatever they were dressed as.  It was so much fun watching Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles, lady bugs, comic book girl, daisies, werewolves, superheroes and angels roaming around the classroom and solving math problems on the promethean board. One of the coolest things today was marching around the school at the Halloween Parade, in which Rory and Grammy Kay stopped by to surprise the kids and the other teachers.

 Everyone loved Rory dressed like a little monster!  They also loved the stroller that Grammy Kay fashioned into a scary zombie mobile.

 

 After school I ran to the flower shop to pick up some flowers for Kim.  I know Halloween is kind of a weird day to get flowers but the first time I ever got her flowers in my life was when Rory was born and I had secretly decided to get her flowers every month for Rory's first year.  (And since it's the last day of October, I almost forgot... but the important thing is that I didn't.)   Kim doesn't really think I will get her flowers every month, and maybe I won't.  Maybe I'm only just saying I will, but her face was classic when I brought them home.  She went soft and smiley.  And that's all it takes gentlemen.  Fall Flowers. 

Now she's cooking up hot apple cider, dinner and Bella our dog, who we should have named Kujo, is in for a fantastic night because Kim thought it was a great idea to buy 18 bags of candy and leave our light on.  I can't wait to hear the doorbell 100 times, then Bella growling and attacking the door 100 times and then shoving  my little BumBELLbee into the laundry room 100 times.  Be careful kids.  Her bark is bad but her sting is worse!!!!

 

 

Comic by Bitstrips

 
 

  

Special Edition: The Wife Blogs Back!!!

As I begin this special edition, I would like to establish that I truly love my husband.  People always say their spouse is their best friend, and for us it is completely true.  He has been my best friend long before we ever even dated. 

But here is the thing….. this blog is going to be the death of me!  It has followed me just about everywhere I go – church and school.  Well I guess I don’t go to many places, but to be fair I just had a baby.  The places I do go this is what happens: I will be talking to someone about Rory and I hear, “Oh yeah I read about that in Josh’s blog.”  or “Your husband is so funny.  Did that really happen?”  or  “I know more about you than I should.”

So here is what you haven’t read in my husband’s blog.  His moments of being a silly zombie daddy.

Zombie Daddy Case #1:                                                                                                                                                     

Josh: I don’t understand why my alarm clock is not working.  I have it set for 6am.  It is a good thing I set my phone alarm too or I would have overslept.  I can’t believe it is broken!

Grammy D:  Did you set the time correctly?  Does it say 7pm right now or 7am?

Josh: Oh I see.

Grammy D and I laughed so hard – he was not too pleased.

 

Zombie Daddy Case #2:                                                                                                                                                                   

  Josh is driving us to Bible Study.  He tries to turn at the gas station on the road to Aaron Jack’s and Gina Jo’s.

Kim: We are not going to Gina Jo’s, we are going to the Davidson’s.

The next gas station comes up and he tries to turn again even though there is no road to turn on.

Kim: Where are you going?

Josh: I don’t know.  Didn’t we pass the road?

Kim: We are not going to Aaron Jack and Gina Jo’s, we are going to the Davidson’s.

Josh: Oh I am so confused.  The baby is crying and the radio is on and you are talking to me.

Kim: Umm, maybe I should drive.

 

Zombie Daddy Case #3:                                                                                                                                              

      We are getting out of the car at the Wal-Mart parking lot.  Rory is behind Josh in the car and so Josh usually grabs him.  This time he gets out and walks around the car to me.

Kim: Did you forget the baby again?

Josh: Uh no.  I needed to check something in the trunk.

Kim: Ok dear if you say so.

He is a great dad even with those forgetful zombie moments.

Great daddy example: 

1-      At youth group as I am teaching the kids, he changes a very stinky poop diaper with a couple of hand wipes from TGI Fridays.  I had forgotten to pack wipes.

2-      He gets up every night and takes turns feeding Rory (Well except the ones he sleeps through.  Of course I have slept through a couple too.)

3-      He also acts like a wildebeest to get Rory to smile just like Grammy Kay.  (It must run in the family.)

 

Rory is perfectly content with turning us into zombies.  He gets all the sleep he wants.  Why can't we?

 

Comic by Bitstrips

 

Best Buy Anyone?

   I really wanted to start this blog by saying how excited I was that one of my best friends Lizzie and her mother came down to visit me this past weekend, but I don't feel right about starting this story anywhere other than Best Buy.   I mean, that is basically where we spent the majority of our day.  It was a horrible, miserable, no good, very bad, 2 hours at Best Buy.

You might think we are in the woods, but no... it's just a tree in the Best Buy parking lot.

 

 

  The only reason we were there was because my mother wanted a very complicated tablet that even I had a hard time figuring out how to use.  But, we were all there to support her through her obsession.  We had met earlier at Lizzie's hotel, which was merely an extension of the Best Buy and decided to eat lunch at the Macaroni Grill, which was conveniently in the far corner of the Best Buy as well.  They sure are accommodating at Best Buy.  It only took them one hour to help her find a new version of the tablet she wanted since they didn't sell them in bundles anymore.  It was a horrible, miserable, no good, very bad 3 hours at Best Buy.

See we weren't lying.

 

Now don't get me wrong, Best Buy in itself is just fine.  I actually like the store.  What I did not like is how we were stranded there for 3 hours while they tried to show my less than technical savvy mother how to use the device.  On the bright side, we got really close to one of the employees who took a liking to little Rory.  I sure loved Candance.  She was obsessed with Rory's bright red hair and big blue eyes.  Lizzie and Kim were engrossed in conversation with Candace when I walked over.

  "Is this Daddy?" Candace says popping her grape smelling bubble gum.
  "Yes," Kim says.
  "I see now," Candace says,  "Your hair.  His eyes.  Deadly Combination.  He's going to be a ladykiller!" 
 
   From that moment on, Candace was our best friend.  She followed us around the store and Kim swapped recipes on all the different things you could dill.  Lizzie gave her a great mood ring, and I got a pleasant smile.  It was only 4 hours later that we were still in Best Buy.  My mother was trying to figure out how to type a word into the tablet.  Lizzie's mom was tired from spending 5 hours at Best Buy and Lizzie and I were walking back from the bathroom.  I put my arm around her as we walked, because we are just that close.  You know how you have that one friend who you've known for 11 plus years and you've been through probably the craziest, angsty, and somewhat monumental times of your life with?  That'd be Lizzie.  Anyhow as we breezed across the store, Candace's eyes fell on us and they grew as big as saucers.  I could just hear them saying "YOU ARE CHEATING ON YOUR WIFE, and you have such a cute baby."  I could tell in that moment, we were dead to Candace.  It was a horrible, miserable, no good, very bad 7 hours at Best Buy. 

Why are we still here?  Why do we have to play around in the parking lot?

I grab my mom when Geek Squad Bill was trying to show her how to take a picture with the camera and say, "Everyone is in the parking lot.  We are dying.  Kim is sitting in the trunk, the baby has grown a mustache, Lizzie is juggling Rory, and Lizzie's mom has fallen asleep in her rental car.  We have been here for 9 hours.  We can't take it anymore.  We will figure the rest of this tablet out at home."
 She nods, wishing she could stay a little longer and learn more about technology but leaves with me.

A random spoon I probably should not have picked up.

 

 

We hug Lizzie and her mom goodbye, after we startle Susan awake from her rental car sleep and wish them well.  It was sad that the whole day had to take place at Best Buy, but hey I got to see Lizzie and Lizzie got to see Rory and that's worth more than words or complicated tablets can express.  I'm just glad I got to see my dear friend and share the joy of my new little family member with her. 

 

Found the Mustache at a Halloween Spirit Store that was connected to Best Buy!

Comic By Bitstrips!

Unsolved Mysteries: Showering with an Unexpected Guest

  I am thinking that it's pretty bad when you don't realize that you've stepped into the shower and it's already occupied.   No, I'm not talking about an episode of The Real World where it happens every ten minutes.  I'm not even talking about the time Lil Kim (my famous lawn gnome impersonating friend) accidentally walked in on me taking a shower because she forgot I went in there ten seconds beforehand.  Well, perhaps I'm getting ahead of myself.   Let's take it back a few days, a couple hours, and five minutes. 

   My zombie wife rolls out of bed at 4 A.M., picks up the hungry baby from his bassinet, changes his diapers, grabs the bottle from my hand, and gets back into bed, all without even opening her eyes. 
  "That was a nice trick," I say. 
  She snorts and growls and feeds the baby. 
  I pass out before her growl hits its climax.
 
 I wake up when my alarm goes off which seems like only moments later.  I hear the shower running and I smile at the sleeping Rory as I walk past him into the master bathroom.  Kim stands dead still under the lukewarm streams that pour over her red waves.   I try to walk past her into the closeted bathroom before she notices me because she can be a bit screamy when people sneak up on her.  I've tried everything too.  

  If I say "hello" loudly, she screams.
  If I say "hello" softly, she screams.
  If I say "I'm awake.  I'm right here."  She screams.     
  If I stick my face against the shower door and wait for her to notice, she screams.  (I do that one on purpose sometimes.)
  The point is... she is reactive.
 
At some point, she screams and gets out of the shower.  As I stand there at the door ready to get in, I see a little creeper laying on the floor of the shower, trying to look as innocent as ever.  However this guy was showering with my wife.  I'm so annoyed.  I'm so angry.  I'm so.... confused.  I bend down to pick up a little white binky which has been soaked with Kim's body wash and excess shower water.

"Umm, why did you shower with a binky?  Were you trying to get it clean?"
 "I don't know how that got in there," Kim says.
 "Umm, that's weird,"  I say.

    After much debate, a heated argument, and a little bit of hair pulling we totally disagree on how the binky got into the shower.

Josh's Theory:

Josh: It's quite obvious to me how it got in there.  You grabbed Rory from his bassinet, and you know how his binky always gets stuck in his third chin?  Well, it got stuck there, and you were too tired to notice it.  You picked him up, fed him and at some point during the feeding, the binky fell from his chins and landed in your ample cleavage.

Kim: Ample cleaveage?

Josh: Well let's be honest, there is enough there for it to get lost in it.  Anyway, I will emphasize that you were too tired to notice and when you got into the shower it fell out of its imprisonment and took a shower with you.  Hands down.  That is how it happened, and I think you deep down believe it too.

Kim's Theory:

 Kim: I think it was actually stuck on you, under your jungle of armpit hair.
 
Josh: Are you forgetting that I found the binky right before I stepped in the shower?

 Kim: Let me stress, that you are just as tired as I am these days and just the other day, you tried to go to Aaron Jack and Gina Jo's house twice for bible study in the span of five seconds when we were really supposed to be going to the Von Trapp-Davidson's house.   And let's not forget how many times you have seen me get dressed and then wore the same color pattern as I do.

Josh:  Like I'm really paying that close attention.  Besides you know I'm a cotton medium.  These clothes just call out to me and say, put me on!

 Kim: You are weird, and also if the binky wasn't stuck on you, then you just planted it there so you could have a funny blog to write about.


So it's your turn to be the Judy.  (Judge Judy, if you didn't get that one.)  I can't verify anything other than the fact that I am 98 percent sure that the binky was in there before I stepped in the shower.  And I didn't stage it.  You can't make these kinds of things up.

Comic by Bitstrips

 

Sister Sister!!!! But where are the Mowry's?

My beautiful little sister came to visit from Mexico this past week, where she goes to school.  She came last Saturday and left today.  It's amazing when we get to see her because it's always so far and few between.  The last time she was here was for my wedding a year ago in November.  It was hard to say goodbye but we are hoping Aunt Hannah gets to come back soon.  We miss her!

  One fantastic thing about Hannah being here is that we always roll right into the way things have always been.  Plus, she has a way to get Grammy Kay flustered super easily.

Meeting Aunt Hannah for the first time!  Look.  She hasn't "painted" her hair yet!

 

 

 Here is a compilation of the great moments of the week:

After picking Hannah up at the airport:
Hannah:  Mi nombre es Hannah y me encanta el queso y yo soy de México. Te extraño mamá! ¿Cómo estás?
Grammy Kay:  Yo soy la abuela. Me gusta un pez de colores.
Hannah:  You have gotten goodish.
Grammy Kay:  I know.  I speak Mexican really good.
Hannah:  You mean, Spanish?
Grammy Kay:  Si.  You know what I mean. HAHAH!


Talking in the car:
Hannah:  There were some very attractive German men sitting by me on the plane.
Grammy:  Where were they from?
Hannah:  (laughing) I'd assume Germany.
Grammy:  What?  No.  I asked where were they going.
Hannah:  Uh, no you didn't.
Grammy Kay:  Yes I did!

After "painting" her hair.

Before Church:
Rory: Grunting.
Josh:  Oh no, you better not start grunting now.  It will be just my luck for you to poop right as I get you ready to go to church.
Hannah: Oh no.
Grammy:  Don't worry I already pooped.  
Hannah and Josh:  (Roars of laughter.)
Grammy Kay:  I mean, HE already pooped.  You guys are so bad!  You always get me flustered Hannah!  Don't post that on your blog, Josh.

Waiting in line at Dunkin Donuts:

Flustered Worker:  Are you going to order any drinks?
Grammy Kay:  Yes.
Flustered Worker:  Can I get you something?
Grammy Kay:  Yes I am going to get coffee with my breakfast.
Josh:  I think she wants to know the details...
Flustered Worker:  So you just want black coffee?
Grammy Kay:  No, I'm going to get a coffee with my order.
Flustered Worker:  And what will that be?
Josh:  Wow, you just made that really difficult.


And finally there was  probably scariest moment of the whole weekend. 

We zoomed through Old Town in Kissimme and loved every moment.  It was a Halloween themed event I guess because there were zombies walking down the street, Werewolves, aliens from area 51 and Frankenstein.    We then went back to the hotel and took a swim, went to the hot tub, took our free drink vouchers to the hotel bar, which was empty and apparently two people wanting free drinks was too few to open a bottle.  Then as we all tried to sleep peacefully into the night we heard what could only be the sound of fireworks shooting off at 2 in the morning. 

Pop pop pop pop pop.

The next day we found out that it had been gunfire and cops had been swarming the area for hours.  Being from a small town we aren't used to such things and with a baby and a wife nearby, it was scarier than the werewolves.

But Hannah made it back to Mexico safely and we are back home as well.  Everything was okay for a little while.  I even met up with one of my best friends Lizzie.  But her story is for another day.  (most likely tomorrow.)

Comic By Bitstrips

Straight from the Pumpkin Patch!

  If you've been following me for awhile.  You know I'm kind of a ridiculous!  But that's okay.  It's totally fine to be a weirdo.  At least that's what I tell my first graders!  I mean that's assuming you've read the fine print and you are a weirdo within reason.  I mean, pig wrestling might be taking it a bit too far.  Putting your 2 month old in pumpkin of course is totally legit. 

 
Rory is probably the cutest pumpkin baby I have ever seen!  I wonder if he'd believe he'd grown from a pumpkin seed.  Hmmm... I wonder if any of the kids at school will believe it.  We are starting a pumpkin life cycle unit this week.  I'd hate to confuse them. 

 

 

I love his little grump face.  I guess all pumpkins can't be happy all the time.  Neither can little babies who have to go to the doctor to get their shots.  It was probably one of the saddest moments of my whole day.  The look on his face went from normal to.. why is there a sudden pain in my legs?  He started screaming and crying and of course my wife opted I should go knowing fully well it was a shot day.  

 

 Her response:  "I didn't know for sure.  I had a feeling they might give him a shot."

 

Me  <----- Unimpressed.

 

 

He's been sleeping pretty much ever since the shots.  I feel so sad for him.  I hate the idea of things hurting him in life.  And yet, I know that's what this life on earth has to offer.  There can't be roses without thorns and you can't get by without a few cuts and scrapes along the way.  I just hope and pray the best for him in everything that comes.   Bella does too, because she blesses him with her healing tongue every time he burps or is really anywhere on her level.  (more on that later.)

 

 

Comic By Bitstrips



So Tired!!!!!

  I admit it, I have slowed down on writing blogs this month and last.  I promise I have not given up.  It's just that when I'm not at work, at church, with Rory, or watching the Walking Dead with Kim and my somewhat screamy mother, Kim and I are walking around as zombies ourselves. 

The evidence:

Two nights ago:

 Rory is screaming for his 3 am feeding.  It's Kim's turn to get up but she doesn't move.   I poke her and try to coax Bella into licking her face, but the dog's dead asleep as well. 
 I try groaning, which is Kim's signature sound at 3 am.  Nothing.
 I get up and change Rory's diaper which is a hot poopy mess.  I fix his bottle next and head back to bed dramatically flopping back down next to Kim.  If I have to be up on her turn, then I might as well make it worth my while.  I am internally planning what I'm going to say to the little faker.  I mean, she's obviously faking it!  But she just never moves.  I fall asleep eventually.  I'll tell her how much she owes me tomorrow.

  The next night:

  I wake up at 6 a.m. and find that I'd slept through the whole night never hearing Rory cry at all.
  "I did all of his feedings tonight!  Thanks for your help!" Kim retorts.
  "Are you serious?  I never even heard him."
  "Sure!"
  I wasn't so upset with Kim anymore.


Last night:

  Rory starts to cry for his 3 a.m. feeding. 
  Instantly I hear Kim groan.  It's not enough that I have to hear the baby whine, but Kim has to pop off too. 
  "I'll get the bottle," I say.
  "Kay," Kim mumbles as she saunters off to the bathroom.
  I make the bottle and bring it back to the room in the complete dark.  I've gotten quite good at moving through the shadows.  I notice Kim still isn't back yet.
  "Kimberly?" I ask, knowing she hates her full name.
  I see a sudden flash of light coming from the bathroom, followed instantly by darkness.
  "Kim?" I ask again.
  The light flashes again and then is suddenly dark. 
  "I've had nightmares like this before," I say out loud. 
  As I inch closer and closer to the master bathroom I see Kim leaning against the doorframe exasperated. 
  "The toilet won't flush!" Kim whines.
  "Oh... well... did you realize you were flipping the light switch on and off and not the flusher?"
  Kim's face contorts... "Oh."


   Today:

  I was washing all of Rory's bottles to take with us  to our bible study this evening.  I got him all strapped into his car seat.  I got all of the keys for the car.  I helped Kim back up her things. 
   "Well we're off!" I say bye to my mother and my sister, (who will be featured in the next blog) and head out to the garage to get in the car.
  Kim's laughter erupts like a volcano and I peek my head back in. 
  "Did you forget something?" she asks.
  I scan the room.  "Umm, well you have the diaper bag right?"
  Then my eyes land on the baby in his car seat sitting on the living room floor.  "Oh yeah.  Well that might be important."


  I'm not even going to tell you all the little things at school and at home that I have forgotten about and how many times I've had to type the right words in this post alone.  I guess it's just the perks of getting little sleep and having so much to do! 

 But what a beautiful season of life.  I can't even look at my little one and not smile.  I'm so blessed.

 

 

 

Comic By Bitstrips

 






 

Another exciting morning with Grammy!

It's been pretty hard for Kim to go back to school and leave Rory behind.  We are so blessed to have Grammy Kay with us on her extended stay to watch Rory during the day.  Besides her crazy antics and speech issues disguised as "baby talk" it's a real blessing.

Today was an exciting day at least that's what I have heard:  I don't really know how to candy coat it so to put it bluntly it started with a big crap.  (giant, if you ask me.)

  "Oh dearest me," Grammy Kay says sitting Rory up in her lap.  "I can hear yous grunting away!  I hears you!  Oh dat's my baby boy!"
  Rory continues to grunt and push.
  "Let me stand you up.  Maybe it will slide right out!" Grammy Kay says.
  Rory grunts and pushes the green alien sludge out of it's containment. 
  "Okay, let's change you!" Grammy Kay says skipping to the baby room, the grand baby euphoria still swirling around her head like a cloud.
  As she peels the sopping smooshy diaper away from Rory she notices that his entire butt and back are coated with a green algae that sort of smells like mushrooms.
  "Oh no!" Grammy Kay says wiping him down.  "You just took a bath yesterday too!  Well we'll have to give you another little mini bath."
  Rory giggles.
  Grammy Kay takes him to the bathroom and washes him down.  "That was a good boy!" she coos at the baby resting on her hip.
  As she turns to pick a towel up, a heavy stream explodes from Rory and lands right into the toilet.
  Grammy Kay doesn't even breathe lest his stream hit the toilet seat. 
  "Yay!  I got to witness your first big boy pee!" 
  As the words leave her mouth the reverberation of her vocal chords give just enough bounce to make Rory's almost perfect score diminish when little yellow dribbles hit the seat.
   "Well, now you're just like every other man on the planet," Grammy Kay says.

  Being working folk, we had to hear the story second hand, but it was still pretty hilarious and I can't believe we missed such a funny moment.  Grammy Kay assures me it won't be the last time his back is plastered with poo.  I can't wait.
 

Comic By Bitstrips

Apples!!!

Who doesn't love the Fall?  Who doesn't love apples?  I know I do!

 

 

Can you believe Kim's dad complains that Rory is always a grump?  That Rory never looks happy.  Well, he's barely figured out how to smile yet.  I mean, how is he supposed to look?  Apparently he gets a hard time with his brothers, because his other grandchild who was born on July 4th, is a smiley and happy baby.   I try to tell him that once Rory really starts to manipulate his face muscles, he will be a much smilier little guy.  Of course Kim loves the grump pictures because when his face is all distorted in a frown he looks like her side of the family.

 

  "I need a happy face!  Why is your son never smiling?" Grandpop-o asks Kim.

  "He is not grumpy, and you should be happy!  That's your grandson.  He's precious!"

  "But why can't he smile?" Grandpop-o whines.

 "Someday he will," Kim says.

 

 

  And just the other day, (I'm sure you've seen the creepy smile, but here it is again.)

 

 

 

  Kim sends this to her father and what she receives back is priceless!

 

 

  "NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!  THAT PICTURE IS A KILLER!  OH MY GOODNESS!  HA HA!  UNBELIEVEABLE!  RORY!!!! HA HA.  LOVE YOU GUYS!  BYE."  Grandpop-o screams on the voicemail. 

 (I truly wish we could record the message onto this screen but alas we couldn't.  We did however continue to replay it about fifteen times and crack up at the excitement of the Grandpop-o!)

Comic By Bitstrips

Grammy Kay or a Fan?

  It happened after I'd woken up.  Kim had left for school.  It was her first day back because sadly her maternity leave had ended and I had jury duty so I had a few extra moments.  I fed the baby and set him into his bassinet.  I took a shower and when I came out of the room to make some coffee, Grammy Kay was already there at the door waiting as patient as a persimmon. 

  "I must see my  grandbaby!"  she shouts and pushes past me to get her hands on the little one.
  "Oh don't mind me," I say removing my back from the doorframe.
  "Oh dere's my baby boy!" she coos in the sickiest sweet voice I'd ever heard.
   Rory coos back.
  "Oh are you gonna talks to me?" Grammy Kay asks.
  "Please don't make me call the grammar police," I mutter under my breath as a I brew a cup of pumpkin coffee. 
  "This is what we do," Grammy Kay barks, "This is our morning ritual."
  "Oh there you are!" she turns back towards the baby.  "Are you gonna mile at me?  Are you gonna mile at Grammy?"
  "I don't think he can walk a mile yet?" I say.  "And if he has speech problems because every word you say is distorted, I'm not going to be happy."
  Grammy Kay ignores me, "That's my miley boy!  Oh I love him!  Come on mile for me!"
 
  This is when it happened.  My zany mother starts doing some sort of jig that resembles a wildebeest running from a herd of wild chimpanzee's who start screaming at eachother, and then start making this sound that I vaguely recall as the call of Bigfoot on an episode of Unsolved Mysteries.  I dare say there were strange arm movements and high pitched ca-caws, but in the end it worked.  He smiled.

  It was the first time I'd ever seen him smile.  It was so adorable.  The angle and quality of my cell phone camera isn't the best and it sort of makes my son look a little creepy, but it was a fantastic smile and it was something I definitely wouldn't have seen that day if it weren't for Jury Duty. 

  Later that day, Grammy Kay tried to get his attention again and make him smile to prove that it wasn't just a fluke.  (And also to prove that she didn't have to go into such antics to make him smile.  She likes to play this game where just because she says she didn't dance around like a wild wildebeest that it didn't really happen.  But we all know it did, don't we?) 

 
  In her second attempt in front of me, he did smile, but then couldn't decide which was more interesting, Grammy or the fan.  His eyes kept darting between the two.  I'm so thankful that Rory gets to spend his days away from us with family.  (As crazy as they may be.)
 

Comic by Bitstrips