Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Nothing says Easter like...

  Easter morning started unlike any other morning.  First of all we thanked God for the the gift of His son and then Kim immediately started crashing pots together in the kitchen.  

"You couldn't even wait until 6:30?" I ask.
"We have to get started.  So much to do today!  Now are you making the lemon meringue pie or am I?
"I am," I say pulling myself out of the amazingly comfortable sheets.  

At some point between the boiling of the egg yolks and the constant stirring Rory woke up.  He had a blast running all over the house, hand signaling for milk, and then tap dancing with the dog right under my feet.  
 Kim was spouting off directives more to herself than anyone else when Rory somehow managed to unhinge his diaper.  It fell to the floor in the way only a morning diaper can.  

"Oh my gosh!" Kim cries her corn shuck-clad fingers stopping for a mere moment.  "It's only pee.  Do you think that I should get him a new diaper right this second or can he wait a few minutes?"
"I don't know," I say.  "I think it should be fine.  I read somewhere that diaperless babies usually don't feel comfortable peeing...and or maybe it was something about potty training and running around diaperless.  Meh.  I don't really remember.  Either way, he should be okay for a few seconds."
"Well okay," Kim sighs.  "Rory, go throw your diaper in the garbage."  

  He quickly runs over to the garbage and discards his diaper inside.  (Yeah, he has progressed from throwing anything he feels like away to throwing things away on command.  We're so proud.)

  Just mere seconds later Rory squats down right under the kitchen sink and takes a crap.  I mean, there's no way to candy coat it.  Little brown pebbles just start dropping onto the tile floor.  (Thank GOD for tile floors) and a little squirt of lemonade to top it all off, because, well why not?
"Kim quick!  He's pooping!"
"What?" she gasps, husks in her curly red hair.  
  "I can't stop stirring or I'd get him myself!  You gotta do it!  I am not letting this lemon stuff burn!  I can't ruin Easter!"

And I didn't.  The pie turned out great, the tile floor was easily cleaned and we had a house full of friends who enjoyed the feast.  I think the best thing is that I have a new catchphrase and a great memory for as long as I can remember it.

The Search Is Over...Lemon Meringue Pie

Nothing says Easter like God's gift, lemon meringue pies, and taking a poop on the kitchen floor.

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