Tuesday, January 28, 2014

The Wife Blogs Back Again as a Mommy!

Well my husband has once again trusted me to write a blog entry.  So this is from the mommy's point of view.

When I was pregnant, we got all kinds of advice about raising a child.  I eventually came up with several ideals about what I wanted for Rory. 

Josh, my ever supportive husband said, "Whatever you think dear.  That is your department."

But my Mom aka Grammy D. laughed and said, "You may think those things, but it might not go quite the way you plan it.  Things change when you have kids."

So here are some of my ideals while I was pregnant and the realities after having Rory.

#1  Childbirth:

Ideal - I was going to have natural childbirth.  I was determined to avoid a c-section at all costs.  I figured if my baby was breech that I would have the doctor turn him.

Reality - Rory was not breech, but his head was too big and I was too small.  So no matter what, there was no way for me to have him naturally.  I was so hesitant about this decision and many people questioned it.  I had the option to try natural and then if it didn't work have an emergency c-section.  I just had a feeling the doctor was right about the c-section.  I felt a bit vindicated when the doctor was closing me up and he told me that I would have ended up with a c-section if I had tried natural.  There just was no way around it. Next time  (when I talk Josh into child #2) I will not have a choice as I have to have C-sections now.

#2  Being a relaxed parent:

Ideal  - Josh and I did not want to freak out every time someone touched or held Rory.  We wanted to be easy going parents who protected but also know that it takes a village to raise a child - so here hold our baby.

Reality - Yes we are fairly relaxed.  We have allowed every child in our youth group who asked to hold Rory.  We do make them wash their hands, but who can blame us.  We are teachers and we do know where those hands have been - everywhere grimy and germy that you can imagine.  We love when our friends, family, and church family ask to hold him.  We do believe that it takes a village and we want Rory to be a friendly happy baby.  We haven't even said no to crazy Wal-Mart people who want to touch him (kissing him was a bit much, but she was like a great-grandma).

#3 Breastfeeding

Ideal - To breastfeed Rory for at least 6 months if not more.

Reality - I tried and tried, but couldn't get him to latch.  Part of the problem was that he was tongue-tied.   They could snip it but we were talking about my 1 week old baby.  I just couldn't handle doing it when he probably will outgrow it or that it may have no other impact on anything else.  So instead I pumped and pumped and pumped until after 7 weeks there just wasn't anymore.  This still makes me sad from time to time.

#4 Food

Ideal - To make Rory's first solid foods.

Reality - I love making Rory's food. I cook it, put it in the food processor, and freeze it.  It feels good to know exactly what my child is ingesting. 

So as you can see - I  am at 50%.  Grammy D was right - you just don't know how things will go being a parent the first time around.  You just have to be flexible and know that ultimately a happy smiling baby probably means you are doing okay. 

Comic By Bitstrips

Monday, January 27, 2014

Attention Wal-Mart Shoppers- Cute Baby on Aisle 9

  I've discovered quite an intriguing fact in the past 5 months.  Babies are human-nip!  Having a baby in tow makes you more popular.  It allows almost everyone around you to smile and say "Did you see that baby's cheeks?" as they pass by.   It gives anyone the permission to walk up to you and start having a conversation about diapers, baby food, or poop.  Great friends become even more amazing as they run towards at a full sprint the moment you walk into a room and say things like "I'm going to steal your child!"  or "I can hold him for you if he gets heavy.. wow he sure looks heavy."

The thing I wasn't quite expecting I guess were the random people in Wal-Mart to be just as intrigued....

"Do you need spam?" Kim asks.
"Umm, you actually brought spam up in a conversation?  I'm impressed," I say. 
"Well, I know you like it.  I do try to be a good wife," Kim says as she stares down at Rory who is strapped to her front in the baby carrier.  "Ooh!  I love you!"
  As I look down the aisle I see an older couple walking our way.  I can tell by the way the woman's eyes lock on Rory, she's enamored. 
  "Oh my goodness!" she says with a skip in her step, as she rushes towards us.  "He is just so precious."
  The woman grabs Rory's cheeks like a fly on cheesecake and continues to give him accolade after accolade. 
  "Thank you," Kim says. 
  "Herbert!" The woman yells down the aisle, "Come over here and look at this baby!  He has red hair!  His cheeks are cute!  Herbert!  Come look at him!"
  Herbert makes his way over and looks at Rory for two seconds and says "Cute." 
  "Ohhhh," the lady coos, "You are all strapped in that contraption aren't you?"
  "Yes," Kim says.  "He likes to look around but also be close to mommy."
   "Well," the lady says eyes only on Rory, "We didn't have things like that in my day, and if I could figure out how to get you out of there I would take you home with me.  I sure would Herbert!"
  "Yes, yes!  I know you would Mildred!" 
  "I just love him!" Mildred says kissing Rory's plumps cheeks, "You are so blessed."
  "We know it!" I say. 

  "I see you have Pampers!" a lady one aisle over  says. 
  "Oh?" I say.  "Yeah, they have worked best for us." 
  "I just read something about Pampers and chemical burns.  Just watch for them," the woman says.
  "Oh, well thank you!  We've been using them since he's been born and we haven't had a problem."
  "Just be careful!  We use Luv's.  They are the best for us!" 
  "Maybe we'll try them!" Kim says.
  "You're baby is just so cute!  I think he could be a Gerber baby!"
  "Oh well thanks!" I say.


   While we wait for Gertie to scan our items at the register, Rory strikes up a staring contest with an older Hispanic couple behind us.  They stare and smile and make faces at Rory while speaking in Spanish.  He starts laughing and smiling. 
  "Can I touch your baby?" the older gentlemen asks Kim.
  She nods her head and the man playfully jiggles Rory's arm and makes more faces.  "He is so good."
  "Thank you!" Kim says simultaneously with Gertie who coughs into her hand and continues touching all of our groceries.  (Of course , I would notice this.  All Kim was thinking was how surprised she was that the man was so intrigued with Rory.)

  So parents?  Is this an oddity or does this happen all the time?  Do random people all over just seek you out to and try to touch your baby?

comic by bitstrips

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Jo Knows Best...

Sometimes I randomly drop Jo's name into a conversation and wait for someone to say "Who's Jo?"
Once someone asks, I shout as loud as I can "JO MAMA!"  Then I congratulate myself on getting someone to fall for that old but epic 90's joke that rocked the decade! 

But I digress, this entry is not about Jo Mama, it's about a real Jo and since she works with children in crisis, she probably really does know best.  I'm probably just getting ahead of myself.  Let me take you back a week or two.

"I think I'm just going to throw his binky outside in the yard.  Every time it  falls out of his mouth he wakes up and cries for it!" Kim shrieks with exasperation.
"But he loves it so much," I say.
"I think I'm going to take it away at 7 months," Kim yells for no apparent reason.  (other than that she gets frustrated when a baby is crying when she's trying to have a dialogue.)
"Isn't that a little early?  I heard binkies were better for baby's teeth than say thumbs."
 "I don't know.  My baby is not going to be a binky junkie!  I'm getting rid of it!"

As you can tell we don't quite agree on the binky situation but how can one really argue with a redhead?  I figure we'll wait and see how things go.  I don't think she'll be able to handle the all night crying if there's no binky to soothe the little howler monkey.  I decided the only way to resolve this one was to go to Jo.  She knows best!  (based on motherly and also work experience in the field of
children in crisis.) 

I really would have dragged Kim to her office but there was no need since she sits right behind us in church.

"Hey Jo!  Here's a cute baby to snuggle!" I say throwing Rory into her arms.  She catches him and is instantly enthralled.  I figure the odds are more in my favor if I can distract her with complete cuteness.  (It's no secret that the ladies that sit behind us completely are in love with Rory and the 150 faces he makes.)
 "Oh!" Jo says, 'ooing' and 'ahhing' over the tiny tyke.  "I do declare, he's just the happiest baby I ever have seen."
 "Why thank you," Kim says, proud as a peacock. 
"Okay, let's cut the pretense and get down to business," I say,  "What's the word on the street about binkies?"
 "Well, there are studies that babies that get paci's taken away before they are developmentally ready to be done with them, will suck their thumbs..." Jo begins.
  "And you can't take away a thumb," Regina, her assistant chimes in.
"...and those children who suck their thumbs have a much higher chance to become smokers when they're older.  I really don't think it's the best idea to take away a paci before the child is ready."
"They'll quit it on their own," Regina adds.
"So it looks like I won't be taking away his binky yet." Kim whines.
Jo twitches her nose, "I wouldn't."

I mean, there you have it ladies and gents.  I win this argument and I didn't even have to fight.  It's all about lining up the right people with the right skills to fight my wife for me.  I may or may not be a genius. 


Comic By Bitstrips

Friday, January 24, 2014

Somewhere In Between

There's this real euphoric feeling when you are caught somewhere between sleep and awake.  It's a fantastic feeling when you're just waking up from a long much needed sleep.  However, when you're constantly hanging in the torturous limbo and never quite falling asleep because there may or may not be a teething baby who has decided he wanted to change his whole pattern of life, it's just not that fun.

For weeks Kim and I have been caught in this time warp.  It's almost second nature now to stand up in the middle of the night and feel for a binky and put it in Rory's mouth.  Kim's beautiful smiles aren't greeting me as we are jolted from slumber.  It's baby crying, mommy grunting as she pulls herself out of bed, and then silence for a few moments.  If we're lucky.

Last night however was bliss.  The little Ror-star fell asleep at 9:30 along with both of his parents and around midnight I woke up to the sound of nothing.  I was so shocked I had to go check on the baby and he was sleeping soundly.  So far so good. 

15 minutes later after I'd just fallen back to sleep something pounces on the bed beside me. 
I jolt up and the dog is whining and whimpering and wallowing.  I scold the dog, because honestly why wouldn't she choose this totally blissful night of sleep to wake me up crying? 

I slide out of bed, trip over a shoe, open the door, remember to wrap a throw blanket around me from the couch and lead the dog out on her leash.

Bella goes flying into the yard, dragging me behind her, the throw blanket falls somewhere behind me, and I'm just standing there in a pair of boxers and the 28 degree wind.  Bella tops off the sundae by barking like mad at something in the yard.  I can only think it's a skunk.  There's a stir and my eyes try to find the other animal which is only a dark shadow.  It's big though.  I can tell that. 

"Come on Bella!" I say pulling on the bark factory.  Firstly, I don't want to get eaten by some rogue alligator that wandered too far from the lake.  Secondly, I don't want Bella waking up half the neighborhood but more importantly Rory, WHO IS ACTUALLY SLEEPING!

After a few squats and a steaming splat, I realize the animal in our yard is our neighbor's dog.  For whatever reason it's out at midnight is beyond me but I'm just glad to be back inside where it's warm and yes, we do have the heat on. 

Before I hit the bed once more, I grab a glass and fill it at the refrigerator.  Apparently the gentle click of the lever sounded like someone knocking on the door because here comes the Dog of the Year barking and yowling like a banshee right in our bedroom.  I might have swore at the dog and wanted to throw her right out the door.  (Which is maybe why our neighbor's dog was out there) but even her complete obnoxiousness wasn't enough to wake up the sleeping babe.  My wife however wasn't as lucky.  It was fine though, she fell back asleep quickly.  So did I.  But perhaps it's just my new lot in life.  No matter what I do, someone is going to wake me up with their crying.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

5 Months! It's Just Bananas!

I honestly can't believe our little Ror-monkey is already 5 months old.  He's just zooming right through life like a wild mustang.  He's also not sitting still enough for pictures anymore.  I mean sure he tries, well maybe he doesn't.  He kind of hates sitting up.  Don't get me wrong, he can, but he doesn't want to.  If he's not standing or rolling around the house he's just not happy. 
On the topic of being happy.  In the past month Rory has been happily eating all kinds of solids. 
His first solid food was bananas!  He was obsessed from first bite. 
Next mommy tried to feed him pumpkin from the can.  He spit it out immediately. 
"Why isn't he eating it?" Kim frets.
"Well, I love pumpkin flavored anything!" I say, while daydreaming about Dunkin Donut's pumpkin fall festival.   "But I have to say, I really can't blame him.  Have you ever tried pumpkin straight from the can?"
"No!" Kim says, "but the puree book you bought be for Christmas says I can feed him pumpkin from the can."
"Try it."
Kim spoons herself a bite and spits it out immediately.  "I see your point."
"Just add some banana," I say.  "He loves it."
Kim smashes up some banana and mixes it with the pumpkin and Rory slurps it down.
Then mommy tried to feed him butter nut squash.  He spit it out immediately, but only after making the most wretchedly cute face I'd ever seen.  Can you guess what we added to it to make it edible?  Banana!
Next mommy tried to feed him sweet potato.  He ate some of it but spit the rest out immediately.  We just added a tiny bit of banana.  He devoured it. 
Maybe Rory really is a little monkey.  (I mean we did watch a baby documentary that told us that the reason babies grasp stuff with their fingers is because instinctually they remember when they were monkeys and had to grab branches!  I mean that sounds legitimate, right?)
If he eats, I don't mind mixing a little bit of banana with it.  It keeps his poop nice and firm too!  Added benefit!          
As of late he has begun to eat sweet potato all by itself.  He also likes to dab his face with his foot to wipe up all the goo that gets left behind.  He's just so civilized.  Love him to death for that.  He's going to be able to teacher a manners course when he gets to preschool.  He also has started holding his own bottle.  It's such a bittersweet milestone, because he's getting so independent but I still want to hold his bottle and snuggle.  We are very blessed! 

Friday, January 17, 2014

Friends, Kids, and friends with Kids!

I'm seriously not kidding when I said Rory met over 50 people!  It was a crazy time, but oh so fun!  I don't think Rory had to sit down on his own the whole entire time.  I mean, who would want to put that cute little mug down. 

We met up with Kim's brother's kids on Christmas Day.  They really got a kick out of Rory.  It's so much fun trying to put his binky back into his mouth once it falls out.  Just ask Bobby and Kayla's youngest.  I think he even tried Rory's binky on for size.  I mean binky's are interchangeable right?

When we were in New York, we met up with my good friend CJ!  We met a few years go on a reality show.  She works with kids and so do I.  We had so much in common, plus we're nice.   So we immediately formed a fast alliance and have been good friends ever since.  Even though we didn't win the million dollars, the experience was enough.  We're "totally changed".

A couple days before New Year's we met up with Kim's high school friend Michelle and her family.  It's always a trip when you are with Michelle.  The first time I met her we went candle pin bowling, which if you don't know what that is, then you are definitely not from New England.  It's these little skinny pins that look like sticks and you get three miniature balls to throw down the lane at them.  Anyhow, the first time I met Michelle she was strutting her stuff and fell halfway down the lane.  She looked graceful even in a fall and got right back up and kept going.  That's Michelle!  We love her spirit!  Like I said, it's always a trip with Michelle!

In Mass we met up with Sing, another of Kim's high school friends and her three daughters!  They absolutely loved Rory!  He was so excited about all three youngin's he didn't know what to do!  Sing is super fun and her three girls are as well!  I always enjoy seeing Sing and listening to the fun things she has to say.  Her husband couldn't be with us because he's marinating off the coast of Antarctica on a special mission, AKA deliver supplies to scientist!  Sing had fun stuff to say about his trip. She's got such a unique perspective on everything.  She can make anything fun!  I love it!
We also met up with another of Kim's high school friends.  Holy cow, who has this many high school friends?  I don't think I kept in touch with very many of mine.  Maybe I'm the bad one.  Anyway Tanya is great!  She's that upfront, let me tell you how it is lady.  Her kids are extremely cute and well behaved!  She also is a ghost whisperer which she might not tell you until you've met her a few times, but I think that's pretty cool.  We are proud of her for braving the ghost attack in Port St. Lucie, the night before our wedding.  She looked extravagant and not like anyone up all night fighting off ghosts!  As for me, I prefer the spirits to just stay where they are.  Out of sight.  We got to see her sister too, and she's super sweet.
We just love our friends! 

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Rorylocks and the Three North Eastern Homes: Just Right

When Rorylocks walked into the last home on his list
He shouted for joy and pumped his fist!
The temp was just right and couldn't be better
unless of course his diaper was a little less wetter.
but once he was changed, he gave Grammy D a hug
and she kissed his cheek while shaking out a rug.
She could multitask five things at once,
but when it came to Rory... well she just loved him tons!

After New York we came back to New Hampshire and spent a little more than a week with Grammy D, Linny Doo (Why can't I just say Lindsey, the girl who won't change a diaper?) and Bumpa.  (Which is toddler speak for Grandpa)  We also got a guest appearance from Aunt Dee and other family members from Grammy D and Bumpa's side of the family, if you can believe that.

   I think he met about 25 more people in New Hampshire.  It was all very exciting but I just don't know how Rory is going to keep everyone straight. 

We had lots of fun playing games, sitting down, relaxing, eating Mexican food in an old jail cell, cyber bowling (although Kim needs me to clarify that it's really called glow bowling.  But I swear in Wisconsin we always called it cyber bowling)  for New Years, doing a jig to Disney songs and drinking two cups of Dunkin Donuts coffee.  (I mean, in New Hamp there is a DD on every corner, and despite the fact my wife promised me that I could have DD every day, due to availability, I only got it twice.  I guess that's reality.)

I will say however that Grammy D made sure my belly was always full with the best things New Hampshire could offer.  I'm sure you can imagine Kim's reactions.

"Where is my food?  Why don't you make anything that I like?"
"But I did!" Grammy D responds flustered from the redhead's sudden daggers.
"You did?" Kim asks.
"Yes.  I made you all of this veggie lasagna!"
"Oh," Kim says at a loss for words.
"See dear," I say.  "It really is Christmas!"

Grammy D had this bouncer that connects to an open door system and Rory absolutely adored it.  He was bouncing all over the place and off the walls.  It inspired Aunt Dee to purchase him one right on the spot.  She had the bouncer ordered from Target before I even blinked.  She's very tech savvy. 

I also made Aunt Lindsey pose with Rory for his five month pictures!  What better way to say I'm five months old in January than with a snowman picture and a blizzard happening in the background!  I just don't think we could have planned it any better!

The time slipped away from us and before we knew it.  It was time to go.  But isn't that always the way the story goes when you are visiting?  There were tears, kisses and snowflakes on the day we left.  But I mean... I'm sure they wouldn't delay our flight, right?  I mean we have a baby.  I guess that's another story.

When Rory left he kissed everyone goodbye.
I swear there was a little tear in his eye.
We rode to Manchester and flew through the air
Soon he'd be in Florida where the weather was always fair!

Monday, January 13, 2014

Does Your Baby Sleep Through the Night?

I swear this is the most common question at the present time.  Almost everyone is asking.  Here's how it usually goes down:

Random Person:  What a cute baby.  Is it a he or a she?
Josh's inner voice:  He's wearing a soccer shirt.  Let's use our context clues here.
Kim:  Yes, he's a boy.
Random Person:  Is he sleeping through the night yet?
Josh's inner voice:  HELL NO!!!!   He wakes upsevery few hours just to cry.  We put the binky in his mouth and he falls back asleep for a few more hours.
Kim:  Pretty much.  He just gets up a couple times.  It's his cold.  He's not sleeping as well with this cold.  He sneezes and knocks his binky out.  Tee hee!
Random Person:  Oh!  Well, my baby was sleeping through the night on his second night home from the hospital. It was so easy.  Well goodbye now.  Have a nice day.  Your baby is just so cute.
Josh:  Can you believe that?
Kim:  I know...she was totally judging me.
Josh:  What?!?!?!?

Comic by Bitstrips


Sunday, January 12, 2014

Part 2 b (Aunt Theresa's House!)

While we were also in New York, Rory got to meet a bunch of new family members.  I think 39 to be exact.   Kim's Aunt Theresa was kind enough to open her home to the hordes of family members flocking to the new baby, like zombies flocking to a fresh meal.   (Who knew Kim's family was so huge?  And this was just her father's side.)

A little background knowledge on Aunt Theresa:  She is the youngest of four, has a beautiful family, and is a HUGE fan of this blog.  She's referenced it a few times and told Kim she couldn't wait to meet Rory because then maybe she'd be featured in a blog.

Upon arriving at Aunt Theresa's house (which was a nice break from the HOT arrangements and Great Grandma and Great Grandpa's house) we were greeted by hugs and baby snatching.  It was quite like any other time we have visited somewhere with Rory, although this time at least we got a couple hugs as well.

"Take Pictures!" Kim says before we've even really sat down.
"Sure baby," I say.
"Wait," Aunt Theresa says fluffing up her hair. 
 "You know," her daughter Katie says, "she only dressed up because she knew she might be in your blog."
Aunt Theresa turns a shade of red, "What?  That's not true.  Don't you dare believe them.  Does my hair look okay?"

The family started pouring in and it was so awesome to see all of them again.  I'd met a few of them myself just one other time at our wedding and a few at Kim's brother's wedding.  The house was overflowing with family.

"You can sit here,"  I say.
"It's okay.  I can still get on the floor.  I haven't broke a hip yet," Aunt Theresa says.
I laugh.  "That's good."
"He is just such a good boy.  He has been laughing and smiling all day."
"I know," I say.  "Can you believe Grandpop-o calls him a grump?"
 "I'm going to have to talk that person who calls him a grump.  Oh my gosh!  I can't not look at him.  He is too cute!"

Despite all odds, we found someone who appreciated and "forced" us to talk about Walking Dead, Lost, and Once Upon a Time. 

 "Yep we do," Kim says. 
Erin continues to excitedly chat about all of the best things TV can offer and I happily indulge.   At some point, between sitting and standing and going to the bathroom and grabbing my second plate of food the conversation turns Freudian.

"Oh really?" I say.  "Are you talking about the Oedipus complex?"
Erin bobs her head.
"Wow," Aunt Theresa says, her chin on her fist.  "You guys watch the weirdest things."
"It's not a show mom, "Erin says, "It's Freud. 

Some of the family left and others showed up but the conversations just kept rolling.

"Yeah I got stalked in college." 
"What?" I say shocked.
"Yeah.  This guy knew I love pigs and he kept buying me pigs."
"Yeah because you snort like a pig when you laugh," Kim says.
"Do I?" 
"You have pig everything!  Trust me.  The stalker wasn't real creative when he bought you pigs."
"Hey!  It was really scary.  I thought he was going to kidnap me and feed me possums."

After my third bowl of Ziti I walked into another killer.

"This black lesbian got caught in my store for stealing and when I caught her I swear that black girl turned white."
"Oh my gosh!" I say, though I don't know why I was shocked anymore.
"You do know I'm writing all of this down in Kim's phone so I can remember it all."
Aunt Theresa gasps, "maybe I don't want to be in your blog anymore.  Oh, who am I kidding?  Of course I do."
"Well, umm, how did you know she was a lesbian?"
"I could tell."
"Mom loves lesbians!" Erin pops off.
"I AM NOT a lesbian, they just intrigue me."

The whole family was amazing and we had so much fun with all of them!  Thanks for all the great new memories!

Comic By Bitstrips


Thursday, January 2, 2014

Rorylocks and the Three North Eastern Homes: Too Hot (Part 2- part A)

Next little Rorylocks went for a six hour drive, down the Mass Pike to New York with pride.
Off to see his Great Grandparents he was full of joy, would they be happy, or would they deploy? 
When he went in, Great Grandma snatched him right up, "THAT'S MY GRANDSON, now back it on up!
She nuzzled him dear, and kissed his red head.  This was fantastic, there was nothing to dread!
Except for moments later when the furnace kicked in!  The temperature was over 110!
"Why so hot?" asked Mommy with jeer.  
Huh?  Who? What?" Grandma deafishly declared.
"Turn down this heat!" Daddy said dripping buckets.
"No we can't!  We get cold easily, stop this ruckus!"

I guess when Grandma and Grandpa are 90 and 86, you can't change their minds about turning the heat down.  But, we managed for the most part.  We got really good at sitting completely still so the heat rose to the ceiling around us.  I won't mention the first night there when all three of us got overheated.  It wasn't pretty and we are from Florida for God's sake, but when we retreated to our basement room, and we figured out how to turn off the spare electric heater that was turned up to 82, we cooled off quite nicely.  ((Except that every time we left the basement, Grandpa must have sneaked back down and turned the heat on once again.)

Again those are just small things.  How often can you introduce your son to your Great Grandparents? This was something Kim had been dying to do ever since Rory's birth.  It was one of those once in a life time joyous moments.  Then again those moments kept continuing over and over and over again.  With Grandpa's amazing stories about his young life as a minor league Brooklyn Dodger and the tales of how he wooed Grandma were fantastic!  Very hot!!!  But fantastic!  Then Grandma's stories began to flow like one hilarious waterfall because every word out of Great Grandma's mouth was a hilarious one liner.  I had to take notes to remember some of the funny things!

To really understand the humor you have to understand her voice and temperament.  Like I said she's 90 years old, she was born french Canadian and moved to New York when she was about 3.  She could tell you the whole history herself with specific dates and streets and situations.  Her mind is so with it, that she probably has a better memory than I do. 

 On Blessings:

"Yeah," Grandma says, her New York accent rich and vibrant.  "The Priest blessed me at church when I told him I had a new great grandson, and I said, you better bless me!"

On Laundry:

"I can do my own laundry!" Grandma says.
"No!" Grammy D says, "Grandpa can do it for you.  You don't need to take another spill down the stairs."
"Yeah.  Did you know that Josh?  I went down the stairs like I was riding a sleigh."
"You have mentioned it a time or two," I say.  
"Yeah, I bumped my head.  It still hurts every once in a while!"
"This is why you don't need to go downstairs to the basement!" Kim shouts.
Grandma sticks her tongue out at Kim.  "But Grandpa will sneeze then."  
"What?  Why would he sneeze?" Kim asks.
"Washing my britches."

On Rory:

"He is the perfectly shaped baby," Grandma says.  "Don't you think Bob?"
"Yep.  Right on!  Right on!  That's okay!" Grandpa says excitedly.
"Those cheeks are just perfect!" Grandma says.

On Jeopardy Contests:

"Wow that man has a big mouth," Grandma chuckles, "I bet he gives big smooches!"

On falling down the stairs:

"My head must be made of iron!"  Grandma says.  "I'm a real Iron man.  I mean, Iron Woman."
"Wow," Linny Doo looks around perplexed, "Great reference Grandma.  I didn't know you had it in you."
"I don't think she meant the super hero," I say.
"Oh," Linny Doo pouts.
"You are very strong," I say smiling at Grandma.
"And lucky!" Kim throws in.
"You can't take out an old frenchie!" Grandma laughs.

On Wheel of Fortune:  

Contestant:  I live with my boyfriend and ....
"You shouldn't say that on TV!" Grandma turns to us mortified. "I just can't believe she said that on TV!"

On Rory vs. Wheel of Fortune:

"You don't need TV when you have a baby!"

On taking Medicine:  

"Gotta take my cocaine!"  Grandma throws the pills back.

On Getting Presents:

Grandma pulls out the present from the bag and smiles, "What a pretty bag."

On Getting a picture of Rory:

"Of course I wanted a picture of Rory!   He's mine now, I think."

On touching a Vibrating Bouncy Chair:

"Ohhh!  Ohhh!  It vibrates Bob! Touch it!  Oh, that's cute!" 

On Rory's Amazing Self:

"I've been waiting for a grandchild for so long!!!  Thanks Kim."