Thursday, January 2, 2014

Rorylocks and the Three North Eastern Homes: Too Hot (Part 2- part A)

Next little Rorylocks went for a six hour drive, down the Mass Pike to New York with pride.
Off to see his Great Grandparents he was full of joy, would they be happy, or would they deploy? 
When he went in, Great Grandma snatched him right up, "THAT'S MY GRANDSON, now back it on up!
She nuzzled him dear, and kissed his red head.  This was fantastic, there was nothing to dread!
Except for moments later when the furnace kicked in!  The temperature was over 110!
"Why so hot?" asked Mommy with jeer.  
Huh?  Who? What?" Grandma deafishly declared.
"Turn down this heat!" Daddy said dripping buckets.
"No we can't!  We get cold easily, stop this ruckus!"

I guess when Grandma and Grandpa are 90 and 86, you can't change their minds about turning the heat down.  But, we managed for the most part.  We got really good at sitting completely still so the heat rose to the ceiling around us.  I won't mention the first night there when all three of us got overheated.  It wasn't pretty and we are from Florida for God's sake, but when we retreated to our basement room, and we figured out how to turn off the spare electric heater that was turned up to 82, we cooled off quite nicely.  ((Except that every time we left the basement, Grandpa must have sneaked back down and turned the heat on once again.)

Again those are just small things.  How often can you introduce your son to your Great Grandparents? This was something Kim had been dying to do ever since Rory's birth.  It was one of those once in a life time joyous moments.  Then again those moments kept continuing over and over and over again.  With Grandpa's amazing stories about his young life as a minor league Brooklyn Dodger and the tales of how he wooed Grandma were fantastic!  Very hot!!!  But fantastic!  Then Grandma's stories began to flow like one hilarious waterfall because every word out of Great Grandma's mouth was a hilarious one liner.  I had to take notes to remember some of the funny things!

To really understand the humor you have to understand her voice and temperament.  Like I said she's 90 years old, she was born french Canadian and moved to New York when she was about 3.  She could tell you the whole history herself with specific dates and streets and situations.  Her mind is so with it, that she probably has a better memory than I do. 

 On Blessings:

"Yeah," Grandma says, her New York accent rich and vibrant.  "The Priest blessed me at church when I told him I had a new great grandson, and I said, you better bless me!"

On Laundry:

"I can do my own laundry!" Grandma says.
"No!" Grammy D says, "Grandpa can do it for you.  You don't need to take another spill down the stairs."
"Yeah.  Did you know that Josh?  I went down the stairs like I was riding a sleigh."
"You have mentioned it a time or two," I say.  
"Yeah, I bumped my head.  It still hurts every once in a while!"
"This is why you don't need to go downstairs to the basement!" Kim shouts.
Grandma sticks her tongue out at Kim.  "But Grandpa will sneeze then."  
"What?  Why would he sneeze?" Kim asks.
"Washing my britches."

On Rory:

"He is the perfectly shaped baby," Grandma says.  "Don't you think Bob?"
"Yep.  Right on!  Right on!  That's okay!" Grandpa says excitedly.
"Those cheeks are just perfect!" Grandma says.

On Jeopardy Contests:

"Wow that man has a big mouth," Grandma chuckles, "I bet he gives big smooches!"

On falling down the stairs:

"My head must be made of iron!"  Grandma says.  "I'm a real Iron man.  I mean, Iron Woman."
"Wow," Linny Doo looks around perplexed, "Great reference Grandma.  I didn't know you had it in you."
"I don't think she meant the super hero," I say.
"Oh," Linny Doo pouts.
"You are very strong," I say smiling at Grandma.
"And lucky!" Kim throws in.
"You can't take out an old frenchie!" Grandma laughs.

On Wheel of Fortune:  

Contestant:  I live with my boyfriend and ....
"You shouldn't say that on TV!" Grandma turns to us mortified. "I just can't believe she said that on TV!"

On Rory vs. Wheel of Fortune:

"You don't need TV when you have a baby!"

On taking Medicine:  

"Gotta take my cocaine!"  Grandma throws the pills back.

On Getting Presents:

Grandma pulls out the present from the bag and smiles, "What a pretty bag."

On Getting a picture of Rory:

"Of course I wanted a picture of Rory!   He's mine now, I think."

On touching a Vibrating Bouncy Chair:

"Ohhh!  Ohhh!  It vibrates Bob! Touch it!  Oh, that's cute!" 

On Rory's Amazing Self:

"I've been waiting for a grandchild for so long!!!  Thanks Kim."


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