I'm bouncing on Kim's birthing ball while Bella playfully tries to tug her ring from my grasp. Kim is rocking in the glider talking to her mother on the phone. (Who let me remind you is coming the next day.)
"So how was Grandma's 90th birthday party?" Kim asks.
"It was so great. So what happened was, Grandma was loving all the attention. She loved your text message. She actually got all choked up, if you can believe that."
"Grandma got teary?" Kim asks shocked.
"Oh yes! She loved your present too. As soon as she started opening it, she exclaimed , "THESE ARE MY FAVORITE THINGS!"
"Good," Kim said, "That was the point."
(Kim and I bought all types of peppermint patties, candies, and other things that Grandma always loves. I wish I could have hired Julie Andrews to sing for her too.)
I roll the wrong way and am suddenly on my back, the birthing ball shooting away. Bella rushes her cold black nose to my face to make sure I'm okay, then flops down beside me.
"Oh yeah," Kim's mom says, "I've been thinking about a whole bunch of meals that Josh might like to eat. Do you think he will like a sweet and sour Kielbasa?"
"Oh he'll love that! He loves sausage! That and cheese. He's not always a fan of red meat but he does like Filet Mignon."
"Yup! I'm making that too. Does he like mushrooms?"
"Umm, not as much as other things..." Kim was saying her voice slowing down.
"Oh because I'm going to make Chicken Marsala and it has mushrooms on it."
"Well... what are you making for me? Are you just cooking for him?!? I'm the pregnant one here!" (A pregnant vegetarian.)
"I'm going to make you sweet and sour vegetables." Kim's mom says.
"Well you could have said that earlier. I'm your daughter and I'm the pregnant one."
"But perhaps little Rory wants to try some Kielbasa! I think you should try it so you don't deprive your son."
"NO! I DON'T THINK HE WANTS TO TRY IT!"
After Kim hangs up she rants to me.
"Why is she making all this stuff for you? I'm the pregnant one! I don't get it! I am so mad!"
"Two things sweetie. I married you, and I knocked you up. Why wouldn't she love me?"
Comic by Bitsrips