Sunday, May 11, 2014

Poop-tastic! (This blog has been rated P for excessive Poop Talk.)

If I'm being honest I could write a book on baby poop.  Not that anyone would read it, except for maybe the 65 percent of people that love a good poop story.  Anyways, let me tell you about the top 5 best poops of April.

Number 5:  Rabbit Poop:  The little pellets that you sometimes can find in Rory's diaper and wonder which woodland critter left it behind.  Surely no human could possibly make something so small.

Number 4: Blueberry Poop:  It's what happens when Mommy makes blueberry applesauce and feeds it to him three meals in a row.  Poor, Miss Anna had to deal with this blue poop that causes staining on contact.  And to think, she didn't even get any pork chops with all that applesauce.  What a shame.

Number 3: Brown Pants:  The wet and slightly filmy coating that covers every inch when you open the diaper, and somewhat resembles a slight tan on a warm summer day. 

Number 2: Slushy:  I really don't need to explain.

And our Number 1 Poop:

Back Brace Poo:  This subtle creeping poop oozes its way up a baby's entire back until all you can do is hose him off in the bathtub.  It usually smells like a rancid raccoon that's been laying out in the hot sun for a week.  ( I took a picture but my wife begged me to not to post it because she doesn't think anyone wants to see it.  I did remind her of the 65 percent but she still said no.  I finally gave in.)

I hope you enjoyed  (If you are in the 65 percent).  I know we sure had fun
wiping those clean.  I may have gagged once or twice and I usually can handle anything BM related.  Just watch out for the Back Brace Poo. 

Any cute face can make this one at any given time. 

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