Sunday, September 8, 2013

Heavenly Sea Lion

  I'm not going to lie, Kim and I have always been kind of random and we find the strangest things to be funny.  This definitely hasn't changed as we have become new parents, but the things we laugh at seem to get stranger and stranger. 

  What used to be funny quotes from movies, has turned into the Don't Get Peed On game.   What once was Aaron Jack and Gina Jo breaking wind on pretty much every surface of our house has turned into Rory, Aaron Jack and Gina Jo breaking wind on pretty much every surface of our house.   What used to be laughing at Kim running into a wall and limping from her plantapirateflatitus has turned into laughing at her sniffing the baby's butt.  My jokes aren't as funny anymore when she can catch me checking Rory's diaper only to pull a finger back smeared with yellow poop. 
It may be the fact that nothing is funnier than when you are running on the fumes of a few hours sleep.  But, at least the lack of sleep has made us creative.  One morning at like 3am Kim and I were sitting there listening to Rory cry as we made up a bottle. 

  "Dear lord!  Does he stop crying?"
  "He's a baby," Kim says.
  "Yes, I know." 
  "ROARRRRR!" Rory whines.
  "What a drama king.  Does he really need to take his pitch up another octave?"
  "Here give him the bottle."
   I pull Rory into my lap and I give him his fill.

  "That's a good boy," I say.  I pull the bottle away from him so I can burp him. 
  He lets out a healthy burp. 
  "That was a good one," Kim says.
  "Meh, I'd give it a 6.  He's had a lot better ones."
  After another few drags on his bottle, I burp him again, and I swear the heavens open up and celestial sea lions trumpet down from above.  It is the loudest, most insane burp I'd ever heard.  I am not lying when I say that the burp lasted for a good minute.
  "Ummm, wow.  That one was a hard 10.  He's gassy, just like his daddy."
  "I don't think I've ever sounded like a freaking sea lion before, that must come from your side."
  "It's definitely your gassy side.  You and Rory have more gas than a petrol station."
  "Uh, Rory is a gas factory, and that's putting it nicely.  Just like his mommy."
  "You're calling me a gas factory?" she says and I can picture her eyes narrowing in the dark.
  "What was the question?" I say.
  "You know it only happens when I'm pregnant, so that doesn't count."
  "Yes.  Yes.  Of course, honey.  But do I need to bring up the duck?" I say.
  "Yep and this conversation is done."

  The Burp Scale game has become one of our favorite games, because who doesn't like to compare burps?  And baby farts are extremely funny.  Let's be truthful.  Although I may not admit this sentiment if I wasn't a new daddy.  It's like being a new parent gives you the right to be slightly immature and act like a kid again.  Hey, and we won't look like complete weirdo's if we show up to Chuckie Cheese's.  How do you beat that?

Comic by Bitstrips

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