Tuesday, September 24, 2013

The P Word

In the past week Rory has been a constipated mess.  He tries and tries!  He grunts and grunts!  He clenches and clenches.  He rips and roars!  And nothing comes out.  It makes him very frustrated.  We've tried baby massages, patting, stomach rubbing.  Let's face it.  He's just a gassy guy. 

After not being able to dislodge the log of distinction, he will finally release a full diaper full of mush that I try my best to pawn off on others.  I can't handle the explosion of smells.  Then the process starts again. 

He grunts and groans and rips and roars... and nothing.

In similar news Kim and I have been watching Walking Dead in order to prepare ourselves for Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios where Walking Dead is one of the Scare Houses this year.  (Which by the way Rory will not be attending in case some of you wondered.)

The sheriff walks through the abandoned town trying to figure out what's happened to the world.
 "Uggh," Rory groans.

The silence of the show is unnerving because you just know some zombie is going to come running out any second.

 "Ugggh," Rory grunts.

 A little zombie girl comes out onto the screen and chases after the sheriff. 

"Oh dear lord," Grammy Kay shrieks.
 "What you don't like zombie shows?" I ask.
  "Umm no," Grammy Kay answers.
 "Uggh!" Rory groans again.
  "You know Rory might as well just be on the show.  He sounds just like one of them."
  "He's just helping the zombiance," Kim says.
  "Oh, I like that.  It was very clever," I say.
   The sheriff lobs off the zombie girl head with a machete.

  "Ahhh!" Grammy Kay shrieks.
  "Umm," Kim says, "It's just a zombie.  It's not real."
  "I can't handle the gore!"
  "Neither could the Clinton administration," someone says.
  "I'm trying to desensitize myself, but I just can't do it.  It's so gross."
  "It's just zombies." 
  "Yeah, you used to work in surgery," I say, "You've seen tons of peoples insides.  It's not different than that."
   The sheriff pulls out a walkers intestines and swivels it around to see what it had been digesting lately. 

  "That is nothing like surgery," Grammy Kay says.  "But I have to say, I love the storyline."
  In the end, our little grunter does get his poo out and is a much happier little zombie.  (And yes, he was sleeping through the zombie show.  We don't let him watch such disturbing things.)

Your turn:  What do you do to stop constipation in infants?

Comic by Bitstrips

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