Thursday, October 31, 2013

Driving Mr. Rory (Halloween Special)

  This Halloween started off pretty crazy:  I had to get up and go to work feeling sick.  I was woozy, and my head hurt and then on top of it all, Kim had to go to Wal-Mart before school.  Enough said.  Kim wanted to get some snacks for her kids and I got some donut holes for my kids too, so it wasn't all that horrible.  Plus, I decided to go to the cooler and get a vanilla coke, which I knew would make me feel better as well.

  As I turned down the road to the cooler, (an outdoor drive-thru convenience store that I've never seen anywhere but our town.)   a state trooper appeared out of nowhere and started flashing his lights.  This of course was my luck!  But I was positive that I hadn't done anything wrong. 

  "Oh my gosh!" I say, "I didn't do anything."
  "Well, just pull over," Kim says. 
  I start to pull over but I realize that the road I'm on isn't very wide and so I decide to pull into a parking lot. 
  "What are you doing?" Kim asks.  "You don't need to pull into a parking lot!"
  "But that road is narrow," I say.
  "This cop probably thinks you are insane."
  "I feel like crap!" I whine.  "I just wanted a vanilla coke!"
  The trooper walks up to my window with a scowl on his face, and then recognition sinks in and it's my friend Trooper.

 (You remember the guy who brought a standalone air conditioning unit to us on the night before Rory was born, when our AC went out.  This is also the guy who likes to pull pranks on me any spare chance he gets.) 

  "You got us," I laugh.  "I knew I didn't do anything wrong."
  "Umm, I know I'm a prankster, but I actually pulled you over because you didn't have your lights on.  You have to keep them on from dusk until dawn." 
   "Oh," I say looking out the windshield.  It's not quite dark, but the sun isn't all the way up yet either.  "I didn't even realize my lights weren't on."
  "Please be careful guys," Trooper says, "And make sure you keep your lights on.  Oh and next time,, just pull over on the road.  All of that swerving into the parking lot made me think something was really wrong."
  "I'm sorry," I say.

  After Trooper leaves Kim thinks she needs to rub salt in the wound.
  "I told you, you were a horrible driver, but you never admit it."
  "Well, I have never gotten into an accident since I have lived in Florida, and you have so..."
  Kim starts to turn redder...
  "But maybe you're right," I say.  "I mean, the Wisconsin DMV basically only gave me a driver's license because the day I took my driver's test there was a blizzard and I didn't have to do anything but drive slowly through the snow drifts."

  After arriving at school we had a lot of fun in First Grade.  I called on kids by whatever they were dressed as.  It was so much fun watching Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles, lady bugs, comic book girl, daisies, werewolves, superheroes and angels roaming around the classroom and solving math problems on the promethean board. One of the coolest things today was marching around the school at the Halloween Parade, in which Rory and Grammy Kay stopped by to surprise the kids and the other teachers.

 Everyone loved Rory dressed like a little monster!  They also loved the stroller that Grammy Kay fashioned into a scary zombie mobile.

 After school I ran to the flower shop to pick up some flowers for Kim.  I know Halloween is kind of a weird day to get flowers but the first time I ever got her flowers in my life was when Rory was born and I had secretly decided to get her flowers every month for Rory's first year.  (And since it's the last day of October, I almost forgot... but the important thing is that I didn't.)   Kim doesn't really think I will get her flowers every month, and maybe I won't.  Maybe I'm only just saying I will, but her face was classic when I brought them home.  She went soft and smiley.  And that's all it takes gentlemen.  Fall Flowers. 

Now she's cooking up hot apple cider, dinner and Bella our dog, who we should have named Kujo, is in for a fantastic night because Kim thought it was a great idea to buy 18 bags of candy and leave our light on.  I can't wait to hear the doorbell 100 times, then Bella growling and attacking the door 100 times and then shoving  my little BumBELLbee into the laundry room 100 times.  Be careful kids.  Her bark is bad but her sting is worse!!!!

Comic by Bitstrips



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